Letter to the Donor! Pre-transplant

Dear Mr. Donor:

I don't know your name. I don't know where in this big world you are or what you are doing. Today I wish I knew how to contact you and tell you a million thing but because I can't I want to tell my Dad's story. I only wish that this could thank you in some small way for what your about to do for my Dad.

My Dad has been battling non-hodgkins lymphoma cancer for a while now. When the cancer was found the prognosis was pretty rough. The cancer was through my Dad's entire body. They began aggressive chemotherapy treatments which worked well. My Dad is young and has a lot of life to live. After one of his treatments when people would ask him how he was he would often say, "fair to middlin" or "just happy to be alive". I have never heard my Dad say that he was sick or complain. He is a very patient man and endures well. Just a few short months after his treatments were over with his cancer came back and he then became a candidate for a bone marrow transplant.

The second round of chemotherapy was a little harder on him. He had some severe reactions to some of the drugs he was taking and the higher doses of chemotherapy made him even sicker but my Dad never complained. Even to his own family when they would call or inquire... he would say, "I'm just peachy keen!" We knew for a while that my Dad was going to need a transplant but how soon we weren't aware.

The time finally came and my Dad elected to have a life saving and cancer ending transplant. This alternative will be a CURE for the cancer and the only way for my Dad to be cancer free. All of my Dad's eligible siblings were tested and it was a very sad day when, one by one, their tests came back negative. The doctors told us that we would have to look to the national bone marrow donor list to find a match because at this point it was going to be like finding a "needle in a haystack."

This is the part when I began to wonder just what it was that Heavenly Father wanted my family to learn from this never ending trail we are going through. I remember the day that I found out my Dad was sick. I was living in Chile at the time serving a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. My family called me up and my Dad told me over the phone. I was devastated and my heart ached for the pain and suffering that my family was going through. Right then, for some reason, I had felt that my Dad would be ok. When we reached this point in his treatment... I began to doubt that initial feeling I had. It seemed impossible now that this was ever going to end.

I remember asking my Mom every couple of days if we had heard anything more about a donor or about a transplant. Every day she would tell me no... we are still waiting. Until finally one day I came home from school and my mom said dad had some news. It was his birthday and we sat down at the dining room table to eat cake and my dad told us he needed to read us an email. His nurse from the bone marrow transplant team had sent him something earlier that morning. He began to read the email... "Kevin: we are happy to inform you that a match has been found and the donor has agreed to take part in the procedure." My eyes filled with tears and the wait was over. Happy birthday to Kevey Love!!!

So it began. My Dad started the process of meeting with nutritionists, psychologists, and other specialists on the transplant team to get him ready for this life changing event. He has been traveling and and tying up lose ends at work in preparation for the time off he will need to heal. Most importantly he just keeps being our Dad. We keep living. He goes to the Sports Mall with us and tries to play racket ball. He wouldn't miss one of Brandon's basketball games. He hasn't missed a meeting for his church calling and hasn't missed a Sunday at church. Today we did yard work together for Mother's Day. We went to dinner... we just were a regular family. Like nothing is wrong and that's how it should be. I consider every single day I have with my Dad another blessing from my Heavenly Father. You don't realize just how fragile life is... at least I didn't until I was forced, one day while I was Chile thousands of miles away from my family, to think about what it would be like if my Dad was gone. We have tried as a family to keep living our lives and live them like every day matters just a little bit more.

So... here we are. This Friday is the day.... the day we anticipate and celebrate. Friday is a day we have waited for for a long time. It is a day we will remember for a long time. The day that someone who we don't even know will decide to give the greatest gift he will ever give to another human being. The gift of a second chance at life. Mr. Donor, we know one thing about you. We know that you are a 19 or 20 year old male. And we know (from my mom's deductive reasoning) that you probably live somewhere on the east cost. The Pasker family would just like to tell you that on Friday you are making it possible to save the life of a father, a husband, a son, a brother, an uncle and a good man. On behalf of my family and surly from my father, we are eturnaly grateful that somewhere during your walk of life you accepted to be a bone marrow donor and that by doing this you have impacted the lives of one family in Sandy, Utah forever.

Our warmest regards,

The Pasker Family